[Lolita 52 Challenge] 3 things I wish I was told when I was a new Lolita

Today's theme can get really polemic, so let's start!

3 things I wish I was told when I was a new Lolita

 

1. Don't buy the "do it yourself" mentality right away when you start in lolita

I am always harassed and people want my head on a silver plate when I say this, but just true facts.

People think handmade is easy, is cheap, and definetely it is none of those.

As a poor person, who would never afford burando in my early days in lolita, my natural response was: "I am going to make lolita myself, it is cheaper!". Hooo boy. Two sewing courses after (that took years of monthly pay and materials and time);  a lot of materials wasted in projects that did not went in perfection, just to gain experience; three sewing machines bought; I can say, if you are not really wanting to become a professional seamstress, and instead just want to enjoy a fashion, better just buy the garment done. Investing in learning to sew exclusively for lolita can cost as much as having a wardrobe full of brand, because if you want to achieve the way of making a very good quality item, sorry to tell you, it will cost you so much time and money.

Don't get me wrong, sewing can be very cool, but don't make your lolita clothes depend exclusively of YOU making the clothes of a fashion you don't really know and is just starting at.

2. Some people will dislike you for what you own, without having exchanged any words with you

Well, we are adults, and usually we do not expect everyone to love us, of course. But in Lolita, you can get really hated just for having an it print, or something other people want. 

I heard somewhere that the term "envy" mean something along the lines of: that person can't stand you having something they don't have or seeing you feeling happy. They don't look at you and say "ohh I want to be like that one day". Instead, they look at you and think YOU stole their place, that everything you own must be theirs. Of course, these people are sick. So don't buy their behaviour. You did nothing to deserve to be hated.

3. Being a Lone Lolita is better than you think

When we get into the fashion, we want to be accepted as a part of a group, it is pretty normal. Being in a group means more than friendships - also mean security. As I didn't had the chance of being anywhere near to a lolita community, I had to stay alone. I even tried to start several lolita comms where I lived (and each place I moved), but with no success - girls would be afraid to go out wearing lolita in public, often they would just not show in the place we would meet, etc.

So, after going to bigger cities to meet lolitas, I could get my comparision. While it is fun to go on meets, and big meets, for me personally, I prefer to be a lone lolita. I don't have much energy to get in a group of six persons and never have an opportunity to talk, or having six persons debating for hours to decide where we should get lunch (and each one wanting to go to a different place), or being forced to take photos with strangers when I don't want to, because the group stopped to take pictures, it is just annoying for me.

Being a lolita in everyday life is more appealing to me; it reminds me the blog posts of FYeahLolita I used to read in my early days. It is so beautiful and satisfying to look at your reflection at the counter's glass in the supermarket; or have my women neighbors wanting to hug me, inviting me to their houses and loving my home decorations; to have the children saying randomly how I look so cute while I am walking on the streets. I think I would not save these clothes just for one day in the month. No, forget it! I don't need to have a group to wear what I love, and I don't need to have a group to tell me I look amazing in it. I know right! And that arrogance that is also known as self esteem - I don't need anybody to tell me it, I just... know, right? One of the side effects to wearing lolita alone, with no group is, besides the self esteem, the courage. It takes courage to be different. The thing is - are you brave enough?

So, I wished someone could tell me when I was a new lolita, that it is pretty valid being the only lolita in a radium of 500 kilometers, and wearing lolita to go to the bakery store. You aren't less lolita if you don't have a lolita bff and if you don't have an Angelic Pretty store in your subcontinent. Lolita is all about being happy, and that my friend, do not require any other person than yourself.

And you, what you wished someone could tell you when you were a beginner?